So Much For Holding On
by The Girly Man
Summary: But we all bleed the same way as you do, and we all have the same things to go through.


1**Hi all! It's me Brenna (luvsrobbie)! **

**Disclaimer: I am not Doug or Will McRobb, or Brenty. **

**Or the Good Charolette song, I don't own that either.**

**HI Thea! **

So Much For Holding On: Kim POV

I looked down at my arm and fingered the long cut running lengthwise down it. I felt the sticky blood on my hand and dripping down the side of my face. I knocked my head against the door and sat on the ground against it. I could fell it shake every time my dad pounded against it and swore. The door was locked and I was sitting against it. There was no way he could get in my room.

_This world, this world is cold  
But you don't, you don't have to go  
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely  
And no one seems to care  
You're mother's gone and your father hits you  
This pain you cannot bare  
_

I looked at the knife in my other hand and a chill ran down my spine. I took the time to think about what exactly I was giving up. My life, yeah, but what else?

I amused myself by remembering my old dream: to be a journalist. But every thing seemed stupid now, nothing mattered. None of these tears and blood would have been here if I hadn't done this to myself. Or if my dad hadn't found me drinking. But I only did that because he was hitting me. So who's fault was it?

I ran my finger down the sharp edge of the blade and watched blood drip on the floor.

_But we all bleed the same way as you do  
We all have the same things to go through_

I wiped under my eye and looked around my room. I wiped my bloody, wet hand on my pants and stood up. I walked to my bed and picked up the only childhood memory I had left.

A stupid dragon stuffed animal.

I looked at the left leg where I had accidently ripped it on a walk with my mom when I was four. I felt pain going through my arm as I hugged the stupid dragon to my chest. I let go and it fell on the floor, covered in my blood.

_Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know_

I laid down on the rug in the middle of my room and stared at the ceiling like I used to when I was little. I used to try to make a picture with the little cracks in the ceiling. Tears streamed down my face as I added another thing to my list of things I was leaving behind: stupid childhood memories.

_Your days you say they're way too long  
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)  
And you're not sure what you're looking for  
But you don't want to no more  
And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to no more_

I stood up and grabbed the stupid dragon off the floor. It was the one from Donnie and the Dragon. It was about thirteen years old. Donnie and the Dragon was my favorite show a long time ago.

Donnie and the Dragon reminded me of something-Mickey's inventory night. With the stupid RFR auction and the stupid purple shirt-and the stupid Robbie McGrath.

Robbie McGrath

He wasn't even talking to me anymore, but I mentally added him to my list. I looked at the dragon again and frowned. Even when I knew I was dying, the sewn on face still smiled. I looked at the knife in my other hand. Without noticing, I had been squeezing it and causing my hand to bleed uncontrollably.

I rose the knife a few feet above my head and plunged it into the dragon stuffed animal's sewn heart on it's chest. I tore it apart and fell to the ground. I threw the stuffed animal against the wall and cried.

In a few minutes, that dragon would resemble me.

_But we all bleed the same way as you do  
And we all have the same things to go through  
  
Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know  
  
Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on  
_

I held the knife to my throat and dared myself to do it. I counted to three, but I couldn't move it any farther.

_What are you waiting for?_

"What are you waiting for?" I asked myself, "Go ahead, what are you waiting for?"

_Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know  
  
Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over...  
  
Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on _

I had held on to life too long.

"It'll be over soon," I said out loud, "Just do it."

Covered in blood, sweat and tears, I took my last breath.

I fell on the floor next to the dragon stuffed animal.

So much for holding on.

**Thanks to my dear sister for typing this for me!**

**This is a PG-13 story by someone who is strangely younger than thirteen. I am older than my years!**

**I hope it seems like I know about this topic, and I don't get an anonmous review saying I don't . . . cough, cough.**


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